Post by Ross Report on Mar 12, 2019 11:17:35 GMT
Hello and welcome once again to the Ross Report, where I give my take on all the major events coming out of this week's SLAM!, which I'm sure you'll agree was a "shocking" show for a multitude of reasons that we'll get into shortly!
The in-ring action kicked off with "King" WALTER destroying yet another opponent, only to make his frustrations known after he was bumped off the previous edition of SLAM! for a "Desperado" Joe Gomez match. Turns out that was one insult too many for the big Austrian, causing him to quit the EWA in somewhat public fashion. While I can certainly understand why he felt so embittered, in my mind, I'm not sure walking out is the right solution to his woes. You can't affect change when you're on the outside looking in, after all. But, if "King" WALTER truly feels his talents will be better appreciated elsewhere, I think I speak on behalf of the entire EWA Universe when I say we wish him well in his future endeavors. As for Joe Gomez though, everything seems to be coming up roses for the ol' "Desperado!" Not only is he claiming to have run "King" WALTER out of town, but the veteran performer even scored himself a date with the lovely Renee Young as well. The way things are going, I'm starting to wonder if Gomez night not be the dark horse pick to win Civil War in a few weeks!
In our first of three debut tag team matches this week, the "Guerrillas of Destiny" made short work of the "Ding Dongs." Just as their friend and ally Jay White has come in and made a big splash right off the bat, it seems as if Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa are going to be a force to be reckoned with as well.
Following on from his breakout performance in that blockbuster main event on the previous show, I'm reliably informed that there's a whole lot of sliding into Angelico's DM's going on, whatever the hell that means. Either way, the "South African Sensation" would go on to suggest that his cheapshot on Pete Dunne after that match was a receipt for Dunne's headbutt on Samoa Joe that announced the arrival of "British Strong Style" back in late February. As we'd soon find out out though, that wasn't entirely accurate as "The Samoan Submission Machine" took it upon himself to crash "Mustache Mountain's" debut match, viciously assaulting both Trent Seven and Tyler Bate with a steel chair. That would quickly bring out the "Bruiserweight" himself, only for some shenanigans by Shayna Baszler to distract Dunne long enough for Joe to get in a shot and handcuff Dunne to the top rope. Trapped there, he was powerless to stop Samoa Joe as the dastardly "Kings of Wrestling" member took that chair to Tyler Bate again and again and again. My backstage sources have informed me that Tyler Bate may have suffered at least one broken rib after that beatdown, seemingly paying the price for Pete Dunne's own actions. That said though, I hardly see this being the end of the rivalry between Dunne and Joe. If anything, this steak is just starting to sizzle! SAUCE IT!
Speaking of Joe, it's great to see that despite the tough loss to "The Samoan Submission Machine" last week, Kenny Omega is starting to feel confident in himself and his abilities once again. "The Cleaner" is a phenomenal talent, and I've got a feeling that once he starts building up a head of steam, he may be tough to stop. While they were out at ringside, Omega and the rest of the "Bullet Club" also took the opportunity to issue their own version of a "cease and desist" after Jay White, Tama Tonga and Tanga Loa have started using that name as well. Could it be that these two sides of the same coin are destined to clash in the near future? I think it's a safe bet.
Our final debut tag team match saw "Monster Mafia" put on a virtuoso performance against "Los Conquistadors." Ethan Page and Josh Alexander are two "blue chip" prospects out of Canada who I've heard nothing but good things about, and on this evidence, it looks like they're going to make a welcome addition to the EWA tag team division, just like the "Guerrillas of Destiny" and "Mustache Mountain" as well! Things are really starting to heat up in the tag team ranks, with "The Vaudevillains" and "Kings of Wrestling" both absent from proceedings this week thanks to the Tag Team Champions being invited onto "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon." If you want the lowdown on that, check out the footage on this EWA.com exclusive right here. It's definitely a confrontation you don't want to miss, as "The Kings" finally got under the skin of the champions, setting up a contract signing for a title match on next week's show!
With Al Snow still under investigation for multiple alleged crimes, it's no surprise he's starting to feel a little suspicious of those around him. And lo and behold, those suspicions (and JoJo, it has to be said) helped him realize that Santino Marella was not in fact a long-standing member of the "bWo," but was rather looking to hook up with them since everyone else on the roster seems to be joining factions right now. For once, you can't really fault the "Italian Stallion's" logic, even if this attempt didn't quite pan out the way he hoped.
Following on from that small taste of retribution he achieved after interfering in the Triple Threat Match the week prior, Fit Finlay had plenty to get off his chest on this week's show. Don't be fooled into thinking this was just some old timer asking "whatever happened to the good old days?" No, the National Champion made many salient points about the state of the business today and the sense of entitlement that some (not all, I stress to add) young superstars seem to carry. However, when "The Fighting Irishman" challenged Jay White to come down to the ring and face him like a man, we were all surprised to find out that "Switchblade" wasn't actually in Fairfax, Virginia, but had instead taken a trip to the NJPW Dojo in Los Angeles, where he practically crucified Fit's son David in brutal fashion! This wasn't just an act of aggression, it was a damn war crime, and if I know Fit Finlay, I can guarantee that he was on the first plane out to LA to check on his boy. Once he knows David Jr is going to be OK though, you can bet your bottom dollar there's gonna be hell for Jay White to pay!
After Jake Roberts was paid off by "Honky Tonk Man" and Jimmy "Mouth of the South" Hart to jump Jerry Lynn last week, "The New F'N Show" would get an opportunity for revenge on this week's SLAM! in a one-on-one match! At least, it was supposed to be one-on-one, but instead saw both "Honky" and Hart stick their noses into proceedings once more. As a result, Jerry Lynn would fall victim to Roberts' patented DDT, still unable to catch a break thanks to "Honky's" vendetta against him. Here's hoping Lynn's luck changes at Civil War! As for "Mr Shake, Rattle And Roll" though, he's so confident of easily overcoming his sworn rival at our next Pay Per View, he's looking to pull double duty on March 31st and win the Civil War Match too! That's a mighty bold claim from Memphis' "favorite" son, but I'd suggest it wise not to count his chickens before the eggs have hatched, to borrow an old Okie phrase.
To my shame, I can't say I'm too familiar with Salina De La Renta, the young woman who appeared in the middle of the ring to act as spokesperson for the impending arrival of "The Prince" at Civil War on March 31st. If her bold promises are anything to go by though, she's certainly got plenty of confidence in this mystery Latin American lucha libre star on his way to the E-Wrestling Alliance! Color me intrigued!
Scarlett Bordeaux's undefeated streak came to an end last week when Charlotte Flair interfered in that wild Triple Threat Match also involving Becky Lynch and Daffney (the latter of whom, it's worth noting, was conspicuous by her absence this week after falling out with her "Revelation" ally during said match). Well, "The Perfect Ten" would get her shot at revenge as she and Charlotte did battle in a hell of a contest, with both competitors upping their already high standards. It would be "The Nature Girl" who seemingly had victory in the bag as she softened up her opponent for the Figure Eight, yet before Charlotte could utilize that hold, Becky Lynch came out looking for some payback! Whether you love Becky or hate her, there's no denying she knew exactly what she was doing as she distracted the official by throwing a chair into the ring before taking Charlotte out with her Straight Fireball, allowing Scarlett to pick up the tainted victory! This constant back-and-forth between Becky Lynch and Charlotte Flair shows no signs of slowing down, as they each look to eliminate the other once and for all. Meanwhile though, one has to wonder if Bordeaux's win now makes her the clear-cut favorite to challenge Daffney for the Women's Championship next.
For two weeks running, Big Show was able to get the better of Buh Buh Ray Dudley, thus claiming the right to murder poor "Scott E." live on international TV. You might be wondering how one can murder a lawn ornament, but the "World's Largest Athlete" had that covered as he took the plastic flamingo to a bridge over the nearby Potomac River, looking to send "Scott E." into the cold, raging waters below. Before Show could act out his murderous impulses however, we witnessed one of the most "shocking" moments in EWA history! Yes, that's right...I've used that pun twice so far in this week's Ross Report, and reserve the right to do so again. But the point is, just as Big Show was about to throw "Scott E." to his doom, both the former National Champion and the lawn ornament were struck by lightning! As things currently stand, I've been frantically reaching out to my sources to try and determine the condition of both Big Show and "Scott E." to no avail, but I dare say that their chances of survival look extremely limited. No doubt we'll have an update on this horrible situation on next week's show.
In our main event of the evening, we had a Pay-Per-View quality encounter as Ken Shamrock defended the World Championship against "The Reaper!" It's almost ironic that the man formerly known as Gabriel finally gets his shot at the top prize in the game in his first match after being forced to join "The Horde." Surprisingly though, "The Reaper" would go it alone against Shamrock, almost as if this was a test of his abilities by Marty Scurll. There's no doubt that "The Reaper" gave as good as he got in this one, pushing "The World's Most Dangerous Man" to his limit and nearly putting him down for the count with the Fall From Grace! As we've seen countless times over the last year however, Shamrock is one tough cookie to crack. Especially with the uncertainty surrounding his wife's whereabouts and well-being following her abduction at the hands of "Father" James Mitchell and PCO having thrown him off the emotional deep end. Ultimately though, Shamrock would finally force his opponent to tap out to the dreaded Ankle Lock, retaining his championship in the process! No sooner had he done so though than PCO tried to head to ringside to confront the MMA veteran, only to be stopped by "The Sinister Minister." Indeed, Mitchell clearly didn't want to jeopardize the chances of trading Shamrock's wife for that bizarre onyx stone he seems so infatuated with, after having made said offer at the start of the show. With things at an uncomfortable impasse between "Father" James Mitchell and the World Champion, it'll be interesting to see if this trade goes down next week, and if so, if it happens without any shenanigans. Considering Mitchell's reputation, I wouldn't be so sure.
With another electrifying SLAM! in the books then, let's take a look at my picks for this week's top three movers and shakers:
1. Ken Shamrock
2. Samoa Joe/Jay White
3. Scarlett Bordeaux
Defending his World Championship against a tough opponent in "The Reaper" is more than enough to earn Ken Shamrock top spot, with "The World's Most Dangerous Man" also finally having an edge over his sworn enemies Mitchell and PCO. Try as I might I couldn't choose between Samoa Joe and Jay White, so I've given them joint second spot after they both carried out heinous assaults against Mustache Mountain and David Finlay Jr respectively. While I certainly don't condone their methods, you can't say they weren't effective. And last but not least, Scarlett Bordeaux returns to winning ways (albeit with a slight assist from Becky Lynch), seemingly pushing "The Perfect Ten" to the front of the line as far as Daffney's next challenger goes!
With that, we're one step closer to Civil War, which is already shaping up to be one for the ages! Between the star-studded Civil War Match itself and all of the various rivalries that seem to be well on their way to reaching boiling point, the EWA's annual "brawl for it all" looks unmissable! And there's still plenty more action to come as SLAM! emanates from the Wells Fargo Arena in Philly next Sunday! Until then,
BOOMER SOONER!
