Post by EWA.com on Sept 22, 2023 20:03:02 GMT
RJ CITY: My name is RJ City and this is EWA Examination where I, RJ City, sit down with some of the biggest stars in the world of EWA and get to know them and what they’re all about. This week I have with me, a major player in the world of the EWA. Chelsea Green! Chelsea, did you see what I did there? Major player? You know because - -
CHELSEA GREEN: No, I get it. It’s just not funny or witty.
RJ CITY: And we are off to a blazing start in this one. Chelsea, your husband is a collector of - -
CHELSEA GREEN: You called me here to talk to me about my husband? Your first question is about Matt Cardona and not me, Chelsea Green? Maybe you’d like to talk about Brian Myers or Deonna Purrazzo or anyone else associated with me?
RJ CITY: Well, I’m going to have to check a lot of questions off my list if this is going to be how it goes. This is how it’s going to go?
CHELSEA GREEN: I guess that depends on how stupid your questions are.
RJ CITY: Likely very stupid. Very well. Chelsea, you recently have come into the ownership of chickens. The evolution of dinosaurs. I have to ask, which came first for you, the chicken or the egg?
CHELSEA GREEN: Wow, that didn’t take long…obviously the chickens came first for me, I haven’t even gotten any eggs from them yet!
RJ CITY: Would you ever consider incubating the chickens yourself?
CHELSEA GREEN: Like laying on a nest of eggs?
RJ CITY: Is it truly inconceivable? Do you think you could mother a set of baby chicks to full growth by laying on a nest?
CHELSEA GREEN: I’m sorry, are you calling me a farm animal? First you want to talk about my husband, and now you’re comparing me to livestock? What kind of interview is this?
RJ CITY: We are just getting started, I assure you. Would you rather fight one Chelsea Green sized chicken or a hundred chicken sized Chelsea greens?
CHELSEA GREEN:: The only thing I would do with a hundred chicken sized versions of me is send them after you for wasting my time with these weird questions!
RJ CITY: To be fair, not even the strangest question I’ve asked this month. Chelsea, some would say that you’re involved in what is referred to as a ‘MLM.’ Are you familiar with what a ‘MLM’ is?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Ugh…not you too. I’ve heard these rumors before and it’s so tiring. Listen, I know Matt and Brian are close, but they’re just friends. This is not a “men loving men” kind of situation.
RJ CITY: No…I don’t think it stands for that. Try again.
CHELSEA GREEN:: Money loving mamas? I do love money, I have to say.
RJ CITY: Is there an essential oil you can use to learn what a MLM is?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Actually, if you’re looking to give your brain a boost, Young Living offers a “Brain Power” blend of Cedarwood, Frankincense, Lavender, and Melissa. It has an aroma that creates clarity and stability for an environment conducive to work or study.
RJ CITY: Do you subject your chickens to the use of essential oils? Maybe like a corn scented one or lettuce…or…I don’t even know what chickens eat. I’m so lost on all of this.
CHELSEA GREEN:: Ugh, you are so lame. Chickens are omnivores and enjoy a variety of fruits, vegetables, grains and even table scraps. My chickens get nothing but the best, of course. Fresh, organic, produce that I chop up in the food processor and bring out to them. I also feed them high quality organic grains. How do you not know the basic diet of chickens?
RJ CITY: Well, we don’t really have chickens in Canada. We have geese. Do you have any desire in raising geese?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Uh, no. They’re mean and they poop everywhere. No thanks.
RJ CITY: What about pheasants?
CHELSEA GREEN:: You want me to raise poor people? I don’t think so.
RJ CITY: You got a chance to work with one of Hollywood’s biggest and brightest stars in Pauly Shore. Tell me about your time rubbing elbows with The Weaz.
CHELSEA GREEN:: First of all, I don’t know that I’d call him one of the “biggest and brightest stars”. Second of all, he couldn’t get us into Casa Vega, he took us to Shake Shack where they have the audacity to not carry turkey burgers and red meat makes my tummy hurt, he took us to his house which was in one of the worst parts of town, and he hit on me in front of my husband!
RJ CITY: So, not a great experience?
CHELSEA GREEN:: What do you think?
RJ CITY: I mean, that doesn’t sound terrible but it doesn’t sound great.
CHELSEA GREEN:: It’s definitely in my top 5 worst experiences of my entire life.
RJ CITY: With greats before you like Jacob and Eli Blu, the Red Rooster, Yellow Dog, the Black Scorpion and other various color named wrestlers, where does Chelsea Green rank on that list?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Obviously at the top.
RJ CITY: My favorite was probably Tim White or Buddy Rose.
CHELSEA GREEN:: Rose is a flower, RJ.
RJ CITY: According to my RoseArt crayon collection, it is also most definitely a color.
CHELSEA GREEN:: And according to my time here with you, you’re most definitely the world’s biggest dork.
RJ CITY: What do you think about people shortening your name from Chelsea to “Chelse?” Are you all right with that?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Not even a little bit.
RJ CITY: I think we should keep shortening it. Chel. Che. Ch…any of those do anything for you?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Have you listened to a word I’ve said?
RJ CITY: Chelsea, when was the last time you cried?
CHELSEA GREEN:: I’m about to right now, does that count?
RJ CITY: Mine was probably the ending of King Kong. Even though it was released in 2005, I only just recently got around to watching it. That giant gorilla didn’t deserve that kind of ending.
CHELSEA GREEN:: I don’t know, right now I’m kind of envious of him.
RJ CITY: Would you rather fight one King Kong sized Chel - -
CHELSEA GREEN:: Not this question again. Please.
RJ CITY: Okay…but it was going to be a good one. Chelsea, the Major Players - yourself included - has had a great 2023 to date so far. What is the key to your all’s success?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Isn’t it obvious? We’re the total package! Not only do we look good, but we’re great at what we do. We’re world class athletes, social media mavens, and marketing geniuses. It won’t be long until you see the Major Players holding gold and elevating some of these titles to new heights.
RJ CITY: How do you go about achieving that goal?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Well for starters, Tommy Blakemore needs to stop trying to hold us back. That man seems to have something against letting us compete regularly even though we have some of the most impressive track records around! After that, all Matt and Brian need to do is take care of a couple more tag teams to make sure the division really takes notice of them, and they’re all set. As for me, I know Sasha Banks is doing everything in her power to avoid me, but her time is coming, just you wait. I’ve got golden dreams, RJ, and my dreams always come true.
RJ CITY: Any plans to acquire any more random animals of any kind?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Sorry, but you and everyone else are just going to have to wait and check out my vlogging channel to see what other furry family members I bring into the Cardona household
RJ CITY: I’m looking into domesticating hummingbirds. Which brings me to my final question. Would you rather fight 100 hummingbird sized RJ City’s or would you rather fight one RJ City sized hummingbird?
CHELSEA GREEN:: Okay, we’re done here.
RJ CITY: We’ve really delved deep into the mind of Chelsea Green here today. Chelsea, thank you for joining me.
CHELSEA GREEN:: Thanks for making me miss Pauly Shore!