Post by EWA.com on Sept 8, 2023 13:09:23 GMT
RJ CITY: My name is RJ City and this is EWA Examination, where I have long form sit downs with some of the EWA’s biggest and brightest stars every other week. This week, we have Maxxine Dupri and Maxwell Jacob Friedman. Maxxine and Maxwell, thank you for joining me.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Long form? How long form are we talking? I've got things to do.
RJ CITY: A little contentious to get this one started, but that’s all right! The form is amorphous, let’s just say that. I’ll let you settle in for a bit and talk to Maxxine if that’s all right.
MAXXINE DUPRI: I don't see why not. I'm sure everyone is wanting to know how they can be a part of Maxximum Talent Services... the name is still in the "focus group" stage.
RJ CITY: Not the first focus group I’ve been a part of. You ever seen I am Legend? I got that ending changed. Anyways, where was I? Maxxine, you have an extra X in your name. What - -
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Really? You’re asking about an extra X in her name. You’re rambling about some B-list Will Smith movie. You call yourself a journalist? This is the hard hitting journalism on display here?
RJ CITY: This is probably the easiest question to answer that I have.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Wonderful. Totally isn't a waste of time. Maxxine, let's go babe. I think we may be done here.
MAXXINE DUPRI: No, now…let’s give this a chance. You said you’d try new things with me!
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I thought you'd want to try scuba diving or hot yoga... this isn’t what I meant by that.
MAXXINE DUPRI: Well, this is what I want to try.
RJ City sits by and watches the conversation unfold before they both turn their attention back towards him. He has a somewhat disgusted look on his face.
RJ CITY: Maxwell, the scarf is an accessory used to help keep your neck warm. I’m not breaking any new ground by saying that. I would dare even call it a lukewarm take on the scarf. However, you wear yours without any shirt or pants or any other semblance of clothing. Is there an issue with your neck getting cold?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: ... I have circulation issues.
RJ CITY: Good, let’s get to the potential heart of that issue now. What’s your thermostat set on at home?
MAXXINE DUPRI: See! I told you this would be fun! Go ahead, tell him how hot you like to keep the penthouse!
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: 85... which is RESPECTFULLY normal! Why would you want to be freezing at home?!
RJ CITY: I keep mine at 73. It gets a little balmy at night, but I find it’s that real sweet spot for comfort. Maxxine, at what point did you realize that Friedman was the man for you?
MAXXINE DUPRI: Awww! That's such a sweet question! I knew Maxy was the man for me when I left him speechless the first time he looked into my eyes. I was at Cecconi's in Miami enjoying a girl's night with my friends when I heard this incredibly loud noise coming from across the restaurant. As I looked over to see what the commotion was I saw Maxy chewing out the wait staff for sitting him near a window... Maxy hates having poor people look at him while he's trying to eat... Well something must have caught Maxy's attention because when he looked over at me we made eye contact he stopped yelling right then and there.
RJ CITY: I’m sure the grandchildren will be lining up to hear that romantic story. Maxwell, same question back to you but about Maxxine.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I was chewing out some moron at a restaurant and I saw a smoking hot blonde checking me out from across the restaurant.
RJ CITY: That’s…not as romantic.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Love at first sight.
RJ CITY: Probably in our best interest to move on from your love story. Max, We’ve seen the red carpet treatment rolled out for you since you returned to EWA, Max. How much did it cost you to get a construction permit and knock down the wall in the private suite of the E-Arena?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: You have to pay for those?
MAXXINE DUPRI: We went through the appropriate channels to knock down that unsightly wall!
RJ CITY: I’m looking to expand my kitchen in my home. Could you possibly help with that?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: You keep this up and I'll pay to knock down your whole house.
RJ CITY: That seems counterproductive for what I’m wanting to do.
MAXXINE DUPRI: I'll have my people reach out to your people. You have people, right?
RJ CITY: If by people you mean an agent or someone who takes care of my bookings and calendar? No. Maxwell, you once lost a Judy Bagwell on a Forklift match against Buff Bagwell. Why don’t we see more things on a forklift matches?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Do you know how hard it is to get a forklift certification? I let mine expire and it's going to be a nightmare to get through that process again.
RJ CITY: So just to get this straight. Permits are a no go, but forklift certifications get a green light with you? Noted. What about, say, a forklift on a forklift match?
MAXXINE DUPRI: RJ, please. This is how you’re going to spend your interview time with the hottest commodity in the EWA?
RJ CITY: Maxxine on a Forklift match?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: And give perverts an excuse to look up her skirt? How about we put you on a forklift and just leave you there?
RJ CITY: Maybe we’ll go back to the love story. Maxxine, what was your first date with MJF like? Did you go dutch on the bill?
MAXXINE DUPRI: Dutch? We had Italian.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: She paid. Personal rule of mine. The quickest way to find out if a woman is only after your money is to make her pay for the first date.
RJ CITY: I would have taken you to Sonic. Unless we went out in Canada. Then probably Tim Horton’s.
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Who the hell is Tim Horton?
RJ CITY: Oh, you clearly haven’t tried the donut holes there if you’re asking who Tim Horton is.
MAXXINE DUPRI: Donut holes? You're just eating air? Sounds ridiculous.
RJ CITY: Oh, you’re just kind of anti-Canadian then?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: No. I'm anti people wasting my time with inane questions. Maxxine, I told you this was a mistake!
RJ CITY: So you’re just anti-RJ City?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: That’s right.
RJ CITY: Very well. What’s the nicest thing you own, Maxwell?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: God now that's a good question finally. That's hard... maybe a toss-up between the Bugatti... and the penthouse in Manhattan.
MAXXINE DUPRI: I thought you would say me...
RJ CITY: Even though you didn’t ask, I’d say the nicest thing I own is my collection of Back to the Future memorabilia.
MAXXINE DUPRI: What’s Back to the Future?
RJ CITY: Great Scott…
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Have you had Cardona on here? I feel like the two of you would be thick as thieves playing with your toys and old pop culture that no one cares about.
RJ CITY: Maxwell, one final question. Your goal is to get to the top of the mountain. The EWA World Heavyweight Championship. What is it going to take to get you there?
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: Patience... perseverance... a strategic mind... and the best lawyers money can buy.
RJ CITY: Strangely motivating. Maxwell, Maxxine…I thank you for your time and this interview. Any final words for the audience?
MAXXINE DUPRI: This was fun! I told you we should try new things, Maxy!
MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN: I swear to god if you edit this in any way to make me look stupid I will END you!
RJ CITY: I don’t even know how to edit these. Thank you both.