EWA Examination - Stokely Hathaway - Baseball Analogies

RJ CITY: My name is RJ City and this is EWA Examination where I, RJ City, sit down with some of the biggest stars in the world of EWA and get to know them and what they’re all about. This week, I have Stokely Hathaway joining me. Stokely, thank you for being here on EWA Examination.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Thank you for finding time to fit me in after noted ballers Val Venis and Taz. Hardcore Holly up after me?

RJ CITY: That's a heck of an idea! I'll have my people reach out to him. Just to get it out of the way, though, any relation to Anne Hathaway?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: … no.

RJ CITY: So, again…just to be clear. She’s not going to be here today?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: What? No!

RJ CITY: Well…okay then. There, uh…there goes about half my questions then. Stokely, you represent a wide array of men and women here in the EWA. What would RJ City have to do to get representation from the Stokely Hathaway International Talentpool?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Hit me with one of Sammy Sosa's corked bats.

RJ CITY: You have someone on staff in Rebel - -

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Reba.

RJ CITY: Right. You have Reba on staff who is known for her magic in making people’s hair look fantastic. Yet, here you are without any hair.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: If the choice is no hair or that… no hair all day every day.

RJ CITY: Are you insinuating that this is a wig?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: A wig? No. But I think a clown wig would be an upgrade for you, bro.

RJ CITY: I think you would look amazing with long flowing locks off that beautiful bald head of yours.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: This is something you think about a lot? Or…?

RJ CITY: That’s up for debate. You, like James Mitchell, have managed a myriad of men and women here in EWA. Any regrets?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Suzuki, Penta, Riddle, and Deppen. Shayna was alright. Masha's better, though. Just watch.

RJ CITY: Eventually one of these will be a home run.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Would you like me to repeat that to WALTER?

RJ CITY: I would hate that, to be honest. And since I'm being so honest… I don’t really understand baseball analogies. I just know ‘home run’ is good. Struck out is…?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: It's bad.

RJ CITY: Right, struck out is bad. Stokely, you participated in the 2023 Civil War match this year. You were, unfortunately, eliminated by Charlotte Flair. Talk about that experience.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: What's there to say? Ric Flair's Daughter is solid. When she had the belt she ran through these white women like Mandingo but I'm not really a wrestler, you know? It'd be like if Messi had to put on a helmet and run a crosser with Kam Chancellor waiting for him. She found that out when Queen Sasha beat her.

RJ CITY: You put your name right up there though alongside some of the greats like Kermit the Frog and Dennis Franz and Ellen DeGeneres.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: I don't know who those people are. You must not get a lot of… uh… flavor with your guests, huh? Lots of "what's seasoning?" types.

RJ CITY: Okay, I’ll take your word for it, Stoke. Answer this one for me. What makes a good manager?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: A solid question. You were due for one. To be honest, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. It's not as easy as I thought it'd be. It's not just acquiring talent. It's acquiring the right talent. Making sure you can provide what they need, and they can provide what you need. I made a couple bad calls before but I'm confident that I've got this ship going in the right direction. Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

RJ CITY: Not to tell you how to do your job but I’d like to think that it’s the ability to connect with their client on an interpersonal level. To know what they’re thinking before they think and be able to help them adapt and overcome their situations.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Interpersonal level? Hold on, cuz. A line has to be drawn somewhere. We're not friends. They pay me to ensure they're getting the best opportunities possible. And then I get my taste when they succeed.

RJ CITY: Who from wrestling history would you like to have had in the Stokely Hathaway International Talentpool?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Kenta Kobashi, Rey Mysterio, and Ahmed Johnson before he was wearin' them Daisy Dukes.

RJ CITY: I’d think you’d want someone to take care of your funds and make sure your investments are safe. Someone like Alexandra York or IRS.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: I can't trust anyone who gave the world Bo Dallas with my money.

RJ CITY: You’re from Harlem, Stoke. How close were you to becoming a Globetrotter?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: As close as you are to catchin' these hands.

RJ CITY: That’s fair. Have you ever been to the Apollo Theater?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Was Michael Jackson bad?

RJ CITY: Who all have you seen there?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Miles Davis, Otis Redding, Aretha Franklin, James Brown.

RJ CITY: Really? Wow!

STOKELY HATHAWAY: No, you moron. I was born in 1990.

RJ CITY: You employ the Authors of Pain as your security detail in the Talentpool. What authors do you think would have been the best professional wrestlers?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: I don't know. They're a bunch of nerds. Probably would be some fire commentators, though.

RJ CITY: I think Tolstoy was a big guy, wasn’t he? I’m gonna go off the chart here and say Agatha Christie. She looks like she could scrap. Probably used the Canadian Destroyer as her finisher.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Shout out to Amazing Red. You know he invented that, right?

RJ CITY: The Amazing Red? What? Was The Fantastic Green taken? You’ve had your fair share of successes and some missteps in your time in EWA. What is the key to hitting it big?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Signing WALTER and a Russian girl. For real.

RJ CITY: A rather insightful answer.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Doing my best. I'm like the Iron Chef of interviews and the ingredient given to me today is the worst interviewer of all time.

RJ CITY: And we’re back. Stokely, this has been an absolute pleasure. Any parting words for the world watching at home?

STOKELY HATHAWAY: Make sure you vote for the next election. I can only handle so much abject racism on Twitter every day.

RJ CITY: Strike three, I’m out.

STOKELY HATHAWAY: There you go.

RJ CITY: I did it! I did the baseball thing!