Post by EWA.com on Jun 30, 2023 14:02:05 GMT
RJ CITY: My name is RJ City and this is EWA Examination where I, RJ City, sit down with some of the biggest stars in the world of EWA and get to know them and what they’re all about. This week, I have the pleasure of sitting down with a trio of magnificent wrestlers. Chad Gable, Otis and Mandy Rose, the Alpha Academy. It is an esteemed honor to have someone who graduated with a 4.0 on this show. A real reputation builder.
CHAD GABLE: Aw, thank you so much for having us, RJ. You didn’t have to mention my 4.0 GPA master’s degree, you’re gonna make me blush, it’s no big deal!
OTIS: Eh!?
CHAD GABLE: Ha! Sike! Just kidding, of course it is! A-Thank yooou!
OTIS: Hm!
RJ CITY: Well, I think education is important in today’s day and age. I graduated with a degree in Puppet Arts from the University of Connecticut.
MANDY ROSE: Is that a real thing?
RJ CITY: Yeah, I got it with no strings attached.
OTIS: Oh?
MANDY ROSE: Don’t you get any ideas, Puddin’!
RJ CITY: You two went to high school and even college together. Tell me something about the other that nobody knows.
CHAD GABLE: Well, we don’t kiss and tell!
OTIS: Hm!
MANDY ROSE: I can tell you a lot of Chad’s secrets…
CHAD GABLE: What? Please, do enlighten me.
MANDY ROSE: I can tell you that Chad Gable used to get an erection when wrestling—
CHAD GABLE: —Shuush! Mandy!
OTIS: Mhm-hm.
CHAD GABLE: Despite what you might believe you heard, what Mandy meant to say is that I used to get direction from our big pal Otis here, while doing amateur wrestling. And you know what? I'm proud to admit it. Otis is one of the sharpest minds in wrestling.
MANDY ROSE: That’s not what I was gonna say, not that it isn't true Puddin'.
OTIS: Hm!
CHAD GABLE: I guess that doesn’t really answer your question though, does it? Well… I can tell you a secret about Otis. I can tell you he’s the best pal in the whole world! That’s true! It’s… true!
OTIS: Yeah!
CHAD GABLE: What about me, buddy, do you wanna say anything about me?
MANDY ROSE: I can—
CHAD GABLE: Shuuush! I’m asking my best man, Otis!
OTIS: Mhm!
CHAD GABLE: That’s right! I do remember that! Man… those were some fun days!
RJ CITY: Otis, you’re a rather bulbous individual. I think a lot of people don’t understand the geometry of wrestling at times. If you decided to grow your shoulders out or perhaps grow a hunchback, don’t you think that would make you unpinnable? Like, there’s no way both your shoulders could be down at the same time for a pin.
OTIS: Eh?
MANDY ROSE: You mean like a big round rock?
RJ CITY: That’s more geology than geometry. I just mean if you grew a hunchback.
OTIS: Oh!
MANDY ROSE: No, you’re not growing a hunchback!
OTIS: Oh…
CHAD GABLE: Oh man, that is such a good idea though. You'd be unbeatable!
MANDY ROSE: No!
RJ CITY: I hate to rehash questions as you guys are only my second interview, but Mandy Rose…are you the best professional wrestler named after a flower?
MANDY ROSE: Of course! I’m also the best wrestler named after a Mandy!
OTIS: Hm!
CHAD GABLE: Do we really have anybody else named after a flower?
RJ CITY: In Hebrew, Jared means rose and that’s pretty close to Jarrett. So Jeff Jarrett is my answer. Him or Daizee Haze.
MANDY ROSE: Seriously? He’s so old! I mean, he’s so old he walks around with a guitar! Like a wooden one!
CHAD GABLE: Mandy, people still play guitar.
MANDY ROSE: Why? Aren’t there like computers now and stuff? Sheesh.
RJ CITY: If the Alpha Academy goes out for dinner, who picks up the check?
CHAD GABLE: I mean, I gotta treat my friend Otis, right!? He’s my best friend!
OTIS: Hm!
CHAD GABLE: No, I get the check.
OTIS: Hm!
CHAD GABLE: No, I get the check, tell him Mandy.
OTIS: Hm!
MANDY ROSE: Puddin’, just let him get the damn check.
OTIS: Hm…
MANDY ROSE: You can take me shopping instead, how about that?
OTIS: Eh…
RJ CITY: I just use the per diem given to us by management.
MANDY ROSE: ‘Per diem?’ What is that?
RJ CITY: You didn’t take Latin in college?
MANDY ROSE: What? Who does?
CHAD GABLE: Hm, those of us who are academically inclined?
MANDY ROSE: You didn't take Latin in college!
CHAD GABLE: Of course I did! I can speak Latin all day long! Yo cee, soi muii fluentii!
MANDY ROSE: Did you take Latin, Puddin’?
OTIS: Uh…
CHAD GABLE: See! My man’s a fluent speaker! No surprise there!
RJ CITY: In a strange turn of events, ‘per diem’ actually is Latin. How come the Alpha Academy doesn’t have houses like Hogwarts Academy does?
CHAD GABLE: I mean, there’s only one house in the Alpha Academy, and that is the Alpha House!
OTIS: Yeah!
MANDY ROSE: That is so cringe.
CHAD GABLE: Shuush! Mandy! Why do you always have to be such a downer!?
RJ CITY: Well then what famous academy do you think the Alpha Academy is more akin to?
MANDY ROSE: Is ‘akin’ Latin?
RJ CITY: I believe it’s old English.
MANDY ROSE: Like the furniture cleaner?
RJ CITY: You are a fascinating individual, Mandy. To answer your question though, sure. Now please, answer mine.
CHAD GABLE: Well, I can tell you Mandy would not be in Ravenclaw, if you know what I mean.
MANDY ROSE: Chad’s for sure a Slytherin, with all the venom he spits.
OTIS: Huff?
CHAD GABLE: That just hurts! Everyone knows Gryffindor is the Alpha house! And you know what? If we were there, I can tell you it wouldn’t take so many bad movies to take out he-who-must-not-be-named! A-thank you!
MANDY ROSE: You didn’t actually do anything, Chad.
CHAD GABLE: Shuush, Hermione!
RJ CITY: Well, regardless of what famous academy you might be like, the Alpha Academy is the most prestigious one in EWA. To leave you with some Latin - which I did take in college -
Tibi gratias ago pro me hodie iungendum.
OTIS: …Latin.
RJ CITY: That is Latin.