Post by Simon System on Aug 30, 2022 0:36:22 GMT
Hey there, friend!
Feeling a little down? A little uncomfortable? Perhaps you just don't feel too comfortable in the clothes you're wearing. Maybe you do your best not to look into a mirror while walking past it. It sounds to me like maybe you aren't as self-confident as you should be. It sounds to me that you're in need of something that is both educational and powerful, athletic and exotic, to kick that depression to the curb and start living your best life!
It sounds to me that you're in need of the Simon System!
Hi! I'm Simon Dean, the founder and creator of my patented Simon System. More important, I'm back! After Trent Seven humiliated me three years ago at the Halloween Pay-Per-View, I pulled all of my sponsorships from the EWA and decided to train to become a professional wrestler myself. Why? Well, that's simple! I want revenge against Trent Seven! How do I plan on achieving it? It's simple! I'll be using my patented Simon System!
The Simon System is a scientifically tested and proven (FDA approval currently pending) combination of nutritional supplements, dietary habits, workout routines, mindfulness exercises, and EMDR therapy to not only get your body healthy, but your mind and heart too!
Just look at me! Coming all the way from Clearwater, Florida, I am a fit and athletic combat arts specialist that enjoys a tussle just as much as I love a good hike down the Appalachian trail. Using the Simon System BCAA powder three times a day, I'm a lean and mean 220lbs and my post-workout potassium and whey protein shakes make sure that I don't budge even a pound over it! At 5'10", that puts my Body Mass Index percentage in the perfect target range of a fit, clean lifestyle!
And strength? Forget it! By combining skullcrushers, sumo squats, wide grip pull-ups, and that trusty ol' standby deadlifts, your friend Simon Dean is able to lift men and slam them right back down with my Torturerack Powerbomb and Reverse STO with devastating impact! How about that cardiovascular training? A healthy heart and a happy heart! Don't you worry about that. I'm not only shedding those excess calories by combining high intensity interval training cardio with a clean diet but I'm also giving myself the necessary speed to perform things like Blockbusters, Push-up Facebusters, and, one of my favorites, Curbstomps!
The coup de grace, the absolute pinnacle of the Simon System, is my patented Simonizer. When I hit someone with that move they are staying down for the count and it is all thanks to my Simon System!
Well folks, that almost wraps it up for me! So you have to be asking yourself, just how much money does a deal like the Simon System cost? Well folks, for just four installments of $59.99, you're going to receive a six month supply of my choco-chongo Simon Protein Bars, a tub of Simon Says Impact Protein Powder, another tub of BCAAS(imon) supplement, a personal workout guide with over 100 exercises, my three hundred forty-five page Cooking with Simon cookbook, a four disc collection of meditative ambiance music handmixed by me, and, last but not least, a monthly check-in phone call from your ol' pal Simon Dean!
Now don't just stand there, call now!
Order the Simon System Now:
Oh, and Trent Seven? You're a dead man, pal!
Feeling a little down? A little uncomfortable? Perhaps you just don't feel too comfortable in the clothes you're wearing. Maybe you do your best not to look into a mirror while walking past it. It sounds to me like maybe you aren't as self-confident as you should be. It sounds to me that you're in need of something that is both educational and powerful, athletic and exotic, to kick that depression to the curb and start living your best life!
It sounds to me that you're in need of the Simon System!
Hi! I'm Simon Dean, the founder and creator of my patented Simon System. More important, I'm back! After Trent Seven humiliated me three years ago at the Halloween Pay-Per-View, I pulled all of my sponsorships from the EWA and decided to train to become a professional wrestler myself. Why? Well, that's simple! I want revenge against Trent Seven! How do I plan on achieving it? It's simple! I'll be using my patented Simon System!
The Simon System is a scientifically tested and proven (FDA approval currently pending) combination of nutritional supplements, dietary habits, workout routines, mindfulness exercises, and EMDR therapy to not only get your body healthy, but your mind and heart too!
Just look at me! Coming all the way from Clearwater, Florida, I am a fit and athletic combat arts specialist that enjoys a tussle just as much as I love a good hike down the Appalachian trail. Using the Simon System BCAA powder three times a day, I'm a lean and mean 220lbs and my post-workout potassium and whey protein shakes make sure that I don't budge even a pound over it! At 5'10", that puts my Body Mass Index percentage in the perfect target range of a fit, clean lifestyle!
And strength? Forget it! By combining skullcrushers, sumo squats, wide grip pull-ups, and that trusty ol' standby deadlifts, your friend Simon Dean is able to lift men and slam them right back down with my Torturerack Powerbomb and Reverse STO with devastating impact! How about that cardiovascular training? A healthy heart and a happy heart! Don't you worry about that. I'm not only shedding those excess calories by combining high intensity interval training cardio with a clean diet but I'm also giving myself the necessary speed to perform things like Blockbusters, Push-up Facebusters, and, one of my favorites, Curbstomps!
The coup de grace, the absolute pinnacle of the Simon System, is my patented Simonizer. When I hit someone with that move they are staying down for the count and it is all thanks to my Simon System!
Well folks, that almost wraps it up for me! So you have to be asking yourself, just how much money does a deal like the Simon System cost? Well folks, for just four installments of $59.99, you're going to receive a six month supply of my choco-chongo Simon Protein Bars, a tub of Simon Says Impact Protein Powder, another tub of BCAAS(imon) supplement, a personal workout guide with over 100 exercises, my three hundred forty-five page Cooking with Simon cookbook, a four disc collection of meditative ambiance music handmixed by me, and, last but not least, a monthly check-in phone call from your ol' pal Simon Dean!
Now don't just stand there, call now!
Order the Simon System Now:
1-900-909-9900
Oh, and Trent Seven? You're a dead man, pal!
