Ross Report - 3/30/20

One week removed from Insurgency, we opened this week's SLAM! with a word from our brand new EWA World Heavyweight Champion, "MJF!" Accompanied by Alexander Hammerstone and Richard Holliday, "The Salt of the Earth" would head down to ringside to gloat over his championship victory against Harper last Sunday in that highly-rated battle. I guess you can't blame him given the circumstances, but that doesn't make it any less grating to see the perpetually-smug young man from the Hamptons running down virtually every single man who's held the gold over the last couple of years, all the while claiming they don't hold a candle to him. And as if that wasn't bad enough, "MJF's" idea of being a "great" champion apparently means putting the biggest prize in the sport on the line next week, albeit against George South. No disrespect meant to the near 40 year veteran of the squared circle, but it's hard not to see this as Maxwell Jacob Friedman choosing an opponent who he believes to be easy pickings given South's age and relative lack of big match experience on the grand stage of the EWA. And quite frankly, if that's the kind of champion "MJF" is going to be, I genuinely fear the World Championship may have some dark days ahead!

It's no secret that "The Zodiac" has been preying on superstars who've largely retired and moved on from the wrestling business, and now it seems as if Ron Simmons may be the latest to have fallen under his sway. Last I heard, the man formerly known as "Faarooq" had settled down as a pastor, yet something the mysterious "Zodiac" said or offered has convinced him to return to the squared circle, where he made short work of "Desperado" Joe Gomez in our opening contest. Is it just me or does it seem as if "The Lucavi" are growing on a near weekly basis right now? And yet, we're still no closer to seeing just what their end goal might be!

Elsewhere, "The Honky Tonk Man" and my old pal Jerry "The King" Lawler once again sought to lambaste poor Santino Marella for his perceived failings. This time, and without even a hint of irony, they accused "The Italian Stallion" of trying to hog the spotlight during the Tag Team Championship match against "Demolition" at Insurgency. Well, Santino got a reprieve from those ridiculous accusations when Primo and Epico arrived on the scene, leading to a "The Shining Colons" trying once again to sell a timeshare in beautiful Puerto Rico. When those attempts failed however, a badly worded threat from Jimmy Hart led to the booking of a Tag Team Title encounter between the champions and "The Colon-Stars" on next week's SLAM! And considering Primo and Epico are riding high right now following their debut win over "Best Friends," one has to believe that "Honky" and Santino's reign as champions could be in serious trouble when we roll into St. Louis next Sunday!

With all eyes looking towards Civil War and the second ever Women's Civil War Match, we've seen a definite uptick in activity within the division! Case in point, Toni Storm returned to the ring for the first time since January, where she put in a dominant display against Laura Di Matteo. However, as explained a little later in the show when Todd Grisham found the Gold Coast native enjoying a celebratory beer backstage, the timing with Civil War is purely a coincidence for Storm. Indeed, Toni made it clear that she was only interested in wrestling the bare minimum to ensure she gets paid her salary, apparently meaning she has zero intention of being involved in that huge over-the-top-rope battle royal for the vacant Women's Championship in just under three weeks time! Honestly, I can't say I'm particularly impressed by that work ethic or the seeming lack of ambition, but to each their own I guess!

It's been a while since we last saw "The Mighty Don't Kneel" on EWA television, and it looks as if their ranks have grown during their absence! Shane Haste and Buddy Silva are now being joined by Adam Brooks and Kellyanne, two fellow "Aussies" who they have plenty of history with. And yet, their re-introduction to the EWA Universe was cut short when "Tokyo Vice" looked to make an example of "TMDK," no doubt in an attempt to course correct after their recent struggles! While they might not have a personal gripe with the Australians, that doesn't mean "Tokyo Vice" don't see them as the perfect targets to help re-establish themselves! Shibata and "El Desperado" wasted little time in taking out Haste and Silva, while Io Shirai would cut off Kellyanne when she tried to come to her friends' rescue! And what's more, it sounds as if Shirai and Kellyanne are now due to meet in singles competition on next week's SLAM! to continue this burgeoning rivalry! I can't wait for that one!

During last week's Six Pack Challenge, Momo Watanabe and Kelly Klein came to blows in the pursuit of victory, causing somewhat of a rift in their friendship. Well, "KK" looked to mend the damage by suggesting a tag team match on last night's broadcast, to try and help them get back on the same page again. Admittedly, it wasn't quite smooth sailing for the duo as Kelly's attempts to come to her pal's rescue while being double teamed by Sharmell and Linda Miles backfired somewhat. Yet, the duo were eventually able to turn things around when Momo finally tagged in "The Final Girl," who ran roughshod over their opponents before finally forcing Miles to tap out to her patented modified STF! Hopefully this win has helped resolve any lingering issues from Insurgency and repaired the friendship, allowing these two highly talented competitors to set their sights on Civil War glory and the Women's Championship!

After defeating Tyler Breeze in one hell of a match at Insurgency, it seems as if Sammy Guevara already has his eyes set on a bigger prize as he made his way down to ringside to declare he's coming for Jack Gallagher and the National Championship! Of course, you'll no doubt recall that "The Spanish God" isn't the first man to stake a claim towards the gold, as Eric Young did likewise at Insurgency. And Guevara's challenge unsurprisingly brought out "The World Class Maniac" to argue just who should be at the front of the line for a shot at Jack Gallagher! Just when it looked as if this heated exchange was about to get physical however, none other than "The Extraordinary Gentleman" himself made an appearance! Alas, much like at Insurgency, Gallagher wasn't there live and in person but rather from the safety of his own home (and while wearing a fully-fledged hazmat suit as well), reiterating his message from the Pay-Per-View by making it crystal clear he has no intention of returning to the ring until our current health crisis has passed. But in the meantime, if Guevara and Young want to scrap it out to determine who gets the next shot at the gold? Well, it sounds like Gallagher is more than happy to let them tear one another apart, no doubt hoping they'll take each other out in the process!

"Big E" gets a first win under his belt last night after putting away Cedric Alexander in a spirited battle. "Choc Lesnar" has certainly endeared himself to fans over the past few weeks with his fun performances, although I would perhaps suggest it's not a wise move to threaten to quit if you lose, no matter how confident you might be in your abilities. While I can understand EWA superstars trying to motivate themselves by upping the risk factor, I know for a fact that it can end up sending the wrong message to EWA management at the same time. And even though I'm sure no harm was meant in this instance, I'd be wary about making similar declarations in future. Just something to think about.

The first ever "Bo Dallas Invitational" was answered by Samoa Joe on last night's show, but before that could happen, "The Inspirational One" once again found himself in conversation with young Kylie Rae. Indeed, it was Rae who offered encouragement to Dallas this week, absolutely positive that he could defeat Samoa Joe for all the "Bo-Lievers" out there. And in return, Dallas would push Kylie to take a page out of his book and throw out an open invitational for her first EWA opponent as she looks to build some momentum ahead of the Women's Civil War Match. We'll soon see what comes of that, I'm sure, but getting back to the action, it's safe to say that there's probably not a lot of superstars in the EWA locker room who'd want to face Samoa Joe right now. "The Destroyer" has been mentally and physically pushed to the brink in recent weeks thanks to Nick Aldis and "The Standard," leaving Joe even more violent than usual! And yet, it also meant he's been somewhat more reckless than usual as well, a fact that Bo Dallas expertly capitalized on, making sure to use Joe's anger against him to control large swathes of this match. Like him or loathe him, there's no disputing how much of a measured debut this was by Dallas! Still, just when it looked like Samoa Joe may have turned the tide, that's when Aldis struck once again! Just like during Joe's match with Eric Young a few weeks ago, "The National Treasure" would provide a costly distraction that worked against "The Samoan Submission Machine" at a crucial juncture of the match. The only difference this time was Aldis chose to stay backstage and run his mouth, allowing Bo Dallas to roll his opponent up and then hightail it out of there the second the bell rang! That then led to Scott Steiner and Stu Bennett attempting to get the jump on Samoa Joe, looking to deliver another vicous beatdown...only on this occasion, Joe managed to turn things around and clear Aldis' two lackeys out of the ring before demanding a match with his former ally next week! Alas, while Aldis would give him a match, it wasn't against him! Instead, Joe will face Scott Steiner next Sunday, although given how "The Standard" operates, one has to question whether if it'll be a one-on-one situation! Still, I guess we'll find out next week!

It's fair to say that Jacob Fatu felt embarrassed by the shocking return of "Rhino" last week, after the two of them came to blows following Fatu's successful TV Title defense against Bobby Salsa! Indeed, "The Samoan Werewolf" would call out the former "House of H" member last night in an effort to resume hostilities, something "Rhino" was only too happy to oblige! In the end, the only disappointing thing about the resulting wild brawl was just how quickly security were on hand to break it up. Still, when you consider the clash of two such destructive forces, I can't say I'm too surprised by their haste! However, there won't be anyone to hold Fatu and "Rhino" back next week after it was confirmed they'd finally meet in an official match with the Television Title up for grabs! Talk about the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object! You better strap yourselves in for this one, folks, because we've got ourselves a guaranteed slobberknocker on our hands!

Goldberg has made no bones about his reasoning for returning to the EWA, not giving a damn about the fans or putting on a good show, but rather looking to run through opponents and make as much money as possible while doing so! While Goldberg has no great love for pro wrestling though, you could argue that Ciampa's passion for this sport has proven costly over the years. Between knee and neck surgeries and then becoming estranged from his family during his pursuit of success, it's little surprise that Ciampa sees Goldberg's attitude towards the business as nothing but a slap in the face. This led to a highly competitive match between the two, with the action eventually spilling out into ringside where Goldberg was able to connect with a HUGE Spear that caught his opponent off-guard. It was pretty much academic from that point, as "Da Man" tossed Ciampa back into the ring and delivered a devastating Jackhammer to finish off his opponent! Still, it's worth noting that Ciampa is still coming back from his most recent surgery, not that he's looking to make any excuses, I'm sure. It does make me wonder if the result would be quite the same if both superstars were at 100% though!

In the world according to "Winter," no one is more deserving of holding the vacant Women's Championship right now than Becky Lynch. Of course, we'll see if that's truly the case when Civil War rolls around and "The Queen Slayer" has her opportunity to walk out with the gold! As things currently stand though, "Winter's" comments apparently caught the ear of Nikki Cross, who decided to interrupt "The Queen of Chaos'" interview time. Indeed, Cross hasn't forgotten Becky Lynch punching her square in the mouth in the run-up to Insurgency, with the unhinged Scottish superstar choosing to spit right in Becky's face in an effort to forge some kind of strange bond with "The Lass Kicker!" Needless to say, that had the opposite effect, instead sparking a fight with Lynch that eventually saw Nikki claw out a handful of Becky's hair! Before the violence could escalate any further though, security were thankfully on hand to pull the two of them apart, although I think it may end up being only a temporary reprieve! Indeed, Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross seem to be heading towards an inevitable match, and I for one look forward to that prospect!

All in all then, it's safe to say that this week's SLAM! was a great showcase for our resurgent Women's Division, and never was that more evident than in our main event triple threat match! And as if things weren't heated going into this one already, a backstage altercation earlier in the day saw Aliyah apparently mistaking Daizee Haze for the hired help, resulting in "The Boujee Bratz" throwing herbal tea in Daizee's face! While "The Haze" might have laughed it off at the time, it clearly added extra motivation when the two clashed later in the night! Yet as we quickly found out, you can't forget Hana Kimura in this equation either! Indeed, "The Toxic Princess" wasted little time in stamping her own unique brand of authority on both opponents, having plenty to prove in her own right after the struggles "Tokyo Vice" have endured recently. The action was off-the-charts in this one, with all three superstars giving it everything they had in an effort to build some crucial momentum heading into the Women's Civil War! But much like in last week's incredible Six Pack Challenge, these multi-person matches require having eyes in the back of your head or else you'll soon get a rude awakening just when you think victory has been secured! There were several instances where it looked like the match was over only to have the pinfall or submission broken up at the crucial moment, showing the incredible will to win of each competitor! Yet with the toll being taken on Haze, Kimura and Aliyah, it was only a matter of time before someone picked up the duke! And in this instance, it was "The Boujee Bratz" taking inspiration from Daizee's win at Insurgency as she tossed "The Haze" out of the squared circle right after she'd nailed Hana Kimura with a nasty looking German suplex before then spiking the dazed "Toxic Princess" with the Boujee Buster to pick up the win! And what a win it was, immediately putting Aliyah on the map! But was it enough to make her my top pick in this week's top three movers and shakers? Let's find out:

1. Aliyah
2. Bo Dallas
3. Goldberg

After careful consideration, yes! Aliyah's victory in the main event is more than deserving of top spot! And with a win like this in her first official match, there's no question that "The Boujee Bratz" has to be considered a major player heading into Civil War! Likewise, defeating a tough competitor like Samoa Joe is no easy task, and while he might have had a bit of help to do so, I'm not going to take anything away from Bo Dallas as he gets off to an "un-Bo-lievable" start on the road to Civil War! And finally, I was admittedly torn between "Big E" and Goldberg for third spot but ultimately decided to go for the latter. While both had tough matches, Goldberg showed just how ruthless he can be against Tommaso Ciampa, a superstar who's no slouch in his own right, picking up a huge win in his debut!

Now though we find ourselves looking ahead to next Sunday, where we have a hell of a show lined up already! While I still find myself questioning the reasoning behind "MJF" defending the World Title against George South of all people, we've thankfully got some slightly more competitive championship matches to look forward to when The Colons challenge for the Tag Titles, as well as "Rhino" squaring off against Jacob Fatu for the TV Title! And on top of all that, how does a grudge match pitting Samoa Joe and "The Standard's" Scott Steiner sound? Or perhaps more action from our incredible Women's Division when Io Shirai and Kellyanne do battle in a double debut match? No doubt about it, business is really starting to pick up as we edge ever closer to this year's Civil War, so don't you dare miss out on any of the action! Until next time,

BOOMER SOONER!