Post by Ross Report on Mar 3, 2020 0:10:41 GMT
With the women's division blown wide open by Sasha Banks' shocking announcement last weekend, SLAM! saw a whole host of female superstars looking to stake their claim towards the newly vacated Women's Championship during a wild night in Boston!
First though, let's talk about the World Champion. As you'll no doubt recall, Harper's plushy pal "Larry" was given an unwanted piercing on last week's broadcast, resulting in a wild brawl with the man responsible, "Prince Albert," as we went off the air. It seems as if the EWA World Heavyweight Champion didn't get the satisfaction he sought from that fight, on the lookout for "The Piercing Prince" as this week's SLAM! got underway. However, it would be Albert who struck first, taking "The Goatsman" down before kidnapping "Larry!" It seems Albert has taken umbrage with Harper's relationship with his childhood companion, threatening to finish what he started last Sunday by putting an even bigger piercing through the stuffed goat toy. Before that could happen though, Harper looked to put a stop to the vile assault, leading to a trade-off of sorts. If Harper granted "Prince Albert" a shot at the World Championship next weekend, Albert would give him "Larry" back. Alas, even after "The Goatsman" agreed to the stipulation, Albert still pierced "Larry," showing exactly what kind of man he is! Well, "The Prince" might come to regret antagonizing Harper like that when these two do battle over the World Title when the EWA heads to Buffalo next Sunday! Harper has proven himself to be extremely tough to beat when he's motivated, and between looking to retain the title and gaining some payback for his best bud, I dare say that "Prince Albert" might have bitten off more than he could chew!
In our first of three women's matches of the evening, Becky Lynch made short work of Aleah James, forcing the young Brit to tap out to the Dis-Arm-Her. "The Queen Slayer" has been gunning for the Women's Championship for several months now, and it sounds like she fully intends to make the most out of Sasha Banks' unfortunate injury to finally get her hands on the gold! Of course, she's not the only female superstar looking to establish herself though, as we'll discuss shortly.
Last week saw "The Honky Tonk Man" call out "Demolition," in a bold move that caught many folks (including yours truly) by surprise. Well, we should have guessed that "Honky" had an ulterior motive here. Indeed, it seems he had no intention whatsoever of facing the real "Ax" and "Smash," instead painting up the Mulkey brothers and decking them out in some cheap leather outfits while acting as if they were the real deal. The resulting "match" (if you can even call it that) was an cringe-worthy attempt to show just how great "Mr. Shake, Rattle And Roll" truly is, as he single-handedly dispatched Bill and Randy/"Ass" and "Trash" in under two minutes. I highly doubt a legit contest against the real "Demolition" would be quite so one-sided, but for now, that's purely speculation. Either way, something tells me Santino Marella is starting to become just as unimpressed with his tag team partner's antics as the rest of us.
After capturing the Television Championship in a barnburner of a match last Sunday, Jacob Fatu and his mentor Rikishi headed down to ringside to revel in that victory. "The Samoan Werewolf" is certainly not short of confidence, and honestly, why should he be? Fatu is undefeated since arriving in the EWA last month, and eager to carve out a legacy as TV Champion, even going so far as to throw out an open challenge on next week's show. That then begs the question, who's got the guts to answer the call?
In more women's action, the debuting Alexa Bliss faced off against Momo Watanabe. "Dark Peach" had a hell of a showing last Sunday, albeit without being pushed to her limits by her opponent. However, the young lady from Japan really had to up her game against an eager to impress "Goddess." Indeed, I thought Alexa really shined in this one, even though she chose to bend the rules to her every advantage. It's to Watanabe's credit then that she was able to work her way back into the contest, showing incredible intestinal fortitude to shake off Bliss' best shots before finally scoring the victory. A hell of a contest and a hell of a showcase for the women's division, one which I certainly wouldn't mind seeing a rematch of somewhere down the road! It's also worth noting that Momo might have a potential new ally to help watch her back too, as a post-match interaction with Kelly Klein in catering saw "The Final Girl" seemingly offer out an olive branch to "True Heart."
Speaking of Klein, she made her return to in-ring competition a little later in the night when she faced off against Emma of "The Lucavi." Much like Scott Stanford and Don West, I can't profess to know too much about this mysterious new group or their obsession with the signs of the zodiac, but I can tell you that Emma is a hell of a competitor. Klein would discover that for herself as the two went back-and-forth in a tremendous contest, with Klein ultimately overcoming her opponent with the K-Power. This was a huge win for "KK" as she looks to recapture some of the momentum that has been lost over the past few months while sat on the sidelines. I imagine this result is also likely to serve as inspiration to Emma and the rest of "The Lucavi" as well, who I'm intrigued to discover more about over the coming weeks and months.
With so many female superstars coming out of the woodwork this week, it's only fitting then that we heard from Boston's own, Sasha Banks. It might be a slight disservice to Sasha to say that her stepping aside to recuperate from her injuries has sparked new life into the women's division, but I think that's more to do with the question marks surrounding the Women's Title rather than anything else. Regardless, Sasha intends to spend her time in recovery being proactive, scouting the best talent and looking for someone she can help guide to championship glory. All they've got to do to have Banks as their mentor is to find some way of impressing "The Boss" in the space of two weeks, much as Sasha herself only had a fortnight to impress the EWA Universe during her brief first run way back in late 2018. Considering her meteoric rise last year, that kind of guidance could prove invaluable to one lucky lady...but it's anyone's guess who that might be!
When I saw that the EWA had signed "Killer Kross" to a contract recently, my interest was immediately piqued. This monster of a man has been making waves on the independent scene for quite some time, and it's clear from his debut that his deadly reputation is well-earned. He took poor Kurtis Chapman to the proverbial woodshed last night, absolutely decimating "Mad Kurt" in a manner that was hard to watch at times. Still, in terms of laying down the gauntlet to the rest of the EWA roster, this was about as effective a message as "The Devil of Sin City" could send. To paraphrase my old pal Roddy Piper, Killer Kross is here to kick ass and chew gum. And folks, he's all out of gum!
For the second week running, we were treated to another vignette hyping the power of "BO-Lieving" in oneself, courtesy of Bo Dallas. The core concept is certainly a worthwhile message, but one can't help but wonder how Dallas intends to help the EWA Universe achieve just that.
In our main event for the evening, we had ourselves an epic encounter between two former "Kings of Wrestling" as Samoa Joe squared off with Nick Aldis! "The Destroyer" was quick off the mark here, making the most of Aldis' pre-match argument with the official to gain early control and pick up where he left off against Austin Aries the week prior. However, "The National Treasure" soon fought his way back into the contest, using his wiles to turn things around on Joe. Indeed, it's clear why Aldis considers himself "The Standard" for professional wrestling as he looked to dissect his opponent in anticipation for the King's Lynn Cloverleaf! This clearly wasn't going to be the walk in the park Samoa Joe experienced in his previous match, meaning "The Samoan Submission Machine" had to claw his way back into the fight, eventually trapping Aldis in a Boston crab right there in Beantown! Fortunately for "The National Treasure," he was able to make the ropes to force the break, but Joe kept up the pressure with more big hits, showing no mercy! That's when Kamille decided to get involved, causing a distraction which Aldis was briefly able to capitalize on! That is, until Joe caught his the talented Brit from out of nowhere with the Coquina Clutch, looking to put his former ally to sleep! Before he could do so however, Stu Bennett and Scott Steiner headed down to ringside, causing Joe to release the hold to keep them at bay, only to receive a low blow from Nick Aldis! With the match ruled a disqualification, "The Standard" proceeded to put a beating on "The Destroyer" much to the chagrin of the EWA Universe, resulting in Joe being trapped in a King's Lynn Cloverleaf and Steiner Recliner at the same time! That would be enough to draw Shayna Baszler into the ring to aid her man, despite the fact that she's several months pregnant! "The Queen of Spades" showed no fear whatsoever as she tried to fight Bennett off, yet that didn't stop Kamille from shockingly cutting her down with a HUGE spear in one of the most disgusting acts I think I've ever witnessed! How in the world does Kamille or Aldis or any of "The Standard" condone that kind of action against a pregnant woman?! And don't give me that bullcrap about "Shayna shouldn't have been at ringside in the first place." It wasn't Baszler who took things too far last night! She was just there supporting her man, the same as she's done every step of the way over the last year. And when she saw him falling victim to the numbers game, she damn sure tried to stop it! I really wish I could offer an update on Shayna's current condition and the state of her pregnancy, but understandably, I've not been able to reach her or Joe for comment. Needless to say though, after such a vile act, I fully expect Samoa Joe to be on the rampage as he seeks out his revenge against the people responsible! And knowing Joe like we do, it's safe to say he won't stop until he gets it!
With all that said and done, let's take a look at my top three movers and shakers for the week:
1. Prince Albert
2. Momo Watanabe
3. Kelly Klein
He may not have had a match on SLAM!, but "The Piercing Prince" certainly made his presence felt as he assaulted Harper and then parlayed that into a World Championship opportunity on next week's show! If that's not worthy of top spot, I don't know what is! Coming in at number two, Momo Watanabe picked up a second straight victory over a tough opponent in Alexa Bliss, continuing to impress! And last but not least, Kelly Klein returned to the ring to defeat Emma, immediately putting herself back in the hunt for the Women's Title, as we wait to here what EWA management has planned for the vacated championship going forwards!
After such a frantic night, we now know two blockbuster matches set up for next week! Harper will put the World Championship on the line against "Prince Albert" in a match that has plenty of venom behind it after everything that's been done to poor "Larry!" And in late breaking news, I can reveal that Jacob Fatu's open challenge for the TV Title has been answered by none other than "PN News!" Will "The Rapmaster" be the man to finally hand Fatu his first defeat in an EWA ring and take the gold? I guess we'll have to wait until next week to find out, when the EWA heads to Buffalo, New York as the road to Insurgency continues! I'll see you there, folks!
BOOMER SOONER!
