Post by Ross Report on Jun 9, 2019 23:01:27 GMT
This week's SLAM! was super-sized, with a Pay-Per-View worthy card that delivered from top to bottom!
Things kicked off with the demonic duo of Becky Lynch and Winter decimating the Bella Twins while barely even breaking a sweat. The violence on show here was downright scary, as Becky then threw out a challenge to her former "Revelation" teammate Daffney after the match was concluded, looking to throw down at Red, White & Bruised! It's been a couple of months since "Revelation" fell apart thanks in large part to Daffney's ego, and almost as long since we've seen "The Zombie Goddess" in the flesh, so it'll be interesting to see if she accepts the offer!
We'd witnessed some impressive in-ring showings from both Tamina Snuka and "The Samoan SWAT Team" in recent weeks, and now it was the turn of Roman Reigns to introduce himself to the EWA Universe! This talented young man has a look and skillset that any other wrestling company would sell their own grandmothers for, so I'm thrilled he's here in the EWA and already showing signs of living up to that potential!
To a certain degree, you can understand the frustration that "The Kings of Wrestling" must feel after last week's announcement of "mystery challengers" to their titles at Red, White & Bruised. The Tag Champs clearly don't like being kept in the dark, and they like it even less when our new road agents, "The Rock N' Roll Express," have more of a say in the matter than they seemingly do! As it would turn out though, Hero and Aldis just needed to show a little patience as the mystery would be solved later in the broadcast when it was announced "Mustache Mountain" and the Briscoes will meet next week for a shot at the gold at Red, White & Bruised! That match has "instant classic" written all over it, especially with the excellent form both teams have been in lately. One thing's for sure though...I hope whoever was on censor duty when Chris Hero was speaking gets a big ol' bonus for his efforts!
Like many EWA fans, I was excited to see the in-ring debut of "Luchasaurus," a physical stud if ever I've seen one! Of course, he was going up against a guy in Tom Lawlor who is no stranger to a fight! The MMA veteran was looking to bounce back after disappointment in that number one contenders match with Buh Buh Ray Dudley the previous week, using his skills to gain an early advantage. Indeed, Lawlor wrestled like he had a point to prove here, and boy, did it show! Yet at the same time, you've got to give Luchasaurus a ton of credit. The Jurassic grappler took some heavy hits and kept coming back, showing that he's tougher than a $2 Tyrannosaur steak! And in the end, the masked man finally managed to hit his devastating variation of the chokeslam to put Lawlor away, securing his first ever EWA victory! That's a huge win for "Luchasaurus" that will no doubt turn a lot of heads! Keep your eye on this walking talking thunder lizard, folks! Meanwhile, "Filthy" Tom Lawlor's night would go from bad to worse as our cameras later caught up with him after having been left laying in his locker room! A blood-stained tarot card was left next to him, seemingly having a connection with Ilja Dragunov, the newly-signed Russian superstar who issued a chilling promo from the boiler room of the Reed Arena earlier in the evening! Why "Unbesiegbar Zar" has seemingly targeted Lawlor, I have no idea! I'd bet my finest case of BBQ sauce that the former MMA star will soon be gunning for some revenge though!
Out of all possible candidates, I'm not entirely sure that the "Blue Meanie" is best-suited to play mediator between anyone, and yet that's precisely the role he found himself in this week as the dispute between Colt Cabana and Santino Marella rumbles on. While nothing was settled on this occasion, it does seem as if "Da Blue Guy" has an idea for how to resolve tensions within the bWo and determine who the group's leader should be moving forward, so I guess we'll have to tune in next week to find out what it is!
Last week saw the dramatic return of Bradley, saving JoJo from another beatdown from "The Dominion." That led to a wild tag team match this week pitting the four superstars against one another. Considering this was the first time that both duos had teamed up, you've got to be impressed with how well they gelled! Give it up to the alliance of Charlotte Flair and Lacey Evans, with the two of them living up to their "Dominion" moniker by controlling a large portion of the match, only for Bradley to create an opening for a big time "Macho Man"-like elbow drop off the top! With Lacey Evans sent flying off the apron courtesy of a JoJo dropkick, Bradley picked up the huge win over "The Queen" for his team! What this means for the future, I can't say for sure. Obviously pinning the Women's Champion is a good way to earn a shot at the title, but with Bradley being a "Mustachioed Megaman," is he even eligible for such an opportunity?
My old pal Jerry "The King" Lawler has never been afraid to bend the rules to breaking point (and often beyond) when it comes to beating opponents, and that's exactly what we saw on this week's SLAM! In a match for the prized Carl Perkins guitar, "The King" took advantage of the Referee being momentarily incapacitated to dish out a nasty low blow on "The Honky Tonk Man" before rolling him up for the three count! I think it's a safe bet though that just because Lawler escaped with the guitar still within his possession, things are far from settled as far as "Honky" is concerned! Indeed, considering just how much that guitar means to him, I wouldn't be surprised if this is just the start of this rivalry rather than its conclusion!
After picking up his first EWA victory last week when he defeated "The Great Khali," Maxwell Jacob Friedman didn't exactly endear himself to the EWA faithful when he came to the ring to brag about how great he is on the latest edition of SLAM! I know, I know...I as good said that the sky is the limit for this bright young superstar in last week's Ross Report, but a little humility never hurt anybody. Take Mike Mizanin, for example, with "The Miz" deciding to crash "MJF's" party and put the kid in his place. I'll be the first to admit, it's pretty strange to see "The A-Lister" being cheered by EWA audiences, but when the choice is between "The Miz" and Friedman, perhaps it's not that hard to understand why. Still, those cheers weren't the only thing ringing in Mizanin's ears as "MJF" jumped the former reality TV star and laid him out with a nasty looking South Hamptons Plunge! "The Salt of the Earth" may have won the battle, but who knows if he'll win the war!
I'm guessing I'm not the only one who was all hyped up to finally see Brock Lesnar get his hands on Matt Taven after weeks of cheapshots and sneak attacks at the hands of "The Chaotic Idol!" And yet, we were denied that moment as EWA officials were forced to remove Lesnar from the match for his own good due to the concussion suffered by "The Beast" last week. While this might not be the most popular of decisions, it's important to understand that the health and safety of our roster is paramount to EWA officials. This was all about protecting Brock rather than punishing him. And as it so happened, a ready-made replacement was waiting in the wings to take Lesnar's place, as the undefeated Goldberg stepped up to the plate! After getting over the initial shock, Taven would show that ruthless streak we've seen so much of in recent weeks, targeting the hand of his opponent after Goldberg inadvertently struck the ring post! Say what you will about the leader of "The Kingdom," but he's a hell of talent inside those ropes, picking apart a body part before eventually handing Goldberg his first loss! That's got to be a huge confidence boost going forwards, not that Taven needs his confidence boosting anymore, I'm sure. Still, while medical reasons may have delayed the inevitable match with Brock Lesnar this week, it's surely only a matter of time before "The Beast" and Taven go one-on-one! And dare I say it, Taven will find Brock Lesnar a whole different animal to Goldberg!
We heard some defiant words from Pete Dunne earlier in the broadcast, brushing off the assault he suffered at Samoa Joe's hands last week to make it crystal clear he wouldn't be broken. We also heard just why he chose "Show E" as Joe's first Pick Your Poison opponent as well, looking to get a psychological edge over his arch rival by pitting him against the man who almost ended his career last year. If anything though, that seemed to light a fire under "The Samoan Submission Machine," who took the fight right to the seven foot giant! After Show accidentally collided shoulder-first with the ring post in the early goings, Samoa Joe was like a shark that smelled blood, focusing his attacks on that injury to devastating effect. Still, the largest member of the "Flamingo Family" gave an impressive showing of himself, battling back and pushing Joe much further than many expected. In the end though, "The Destroyer's" onslaught was too much to handle, allowing Joe to pick up the first victory in this series between himself and Dunne! If Samoa Joe didn't exactly have it easy in this one, Lord knows how Pete Dunne is going to find next week, with "The Samoan Submission Machine" announcing that his first pick is none other than Braun Strowman! Dunne might be as talented as they come, but I'm not sure if all the talent in the world can compare to the size and strength of someone like "The Monster Among Men!"
There was an interesting dynamic coming into the tag team match pitting "The Horde" against Fit Finlay and Brian Pillman Jr. Obviously, Marty Scurll and Pillman had their run-in several weeks back which results in the second generation superstar being hospitalized (and "The Villain" having to pay his medical bills)...but on top of that, it's almost like Scurll has taken a shine to Brian Pillman, seemingly to the chagrin of "The Reaper." Maybe I'm reading into things too much, but certainly the impression I've been getting is that the man formerly known as Gabriel is feeling a little snubbed by his boss. Elsewhere in the match, we also had the current number one contender to the World Championship, Fit Finlay! Needless to say, Finlay was looking to build some momentum as we edge ever closer to Red, White & Bruised and the biggest match of his 45 year career! However, despite some excellent tag team continuity with Pillman Jr. despite this being their first time sharing a ring together, it wasn't enough to pick up the duke, with Scurll spiking Brian with a devastating DDT while "The Belfast Brawler" was tied up with "The Reaper!" Score another one for "The Horde" then, at least for the moment, but this situation is far from over!
After this one, we finally received a much-needed explanation from Ember Moon as to what drove her to ambush Sasha Banks during her first live appearance last week! It seems as if "The Villainess" is fed up with being overlooked in the women's division and decided to take out those frustrations on the shiny new toy that threatened to keep the spotlight off her even more. While Ember might not regret her actions right now, she may well do so by the time "The Boss" is cleared to return!
We've already seen some classic championship matches since Spring Scramble and SLAM!'s main event may have just topped them all! This was Jake Roberts' first defence since winning the National Title from Fit Finlay in early May, and there's no doubt whatsoever that "The Snake" was looking to lay down a marker. However, I suspect his gameplan might have been thrown off from the outset when the Referee took the entirely justified decision of ejecting both "The Horde" and the "Flamingo Family" from ringside in the opening moments of the contest! Meanwhile, Buh Buh Ray Dudley came into this one still racked with self-doubt despite his victory over Tom Lawlor the previous week. Even though he's a former multiple time Tag Champion and been around the block more than once, Bubbs didn't quite seem to believe he could get the job done this week. And yet, as the match progressed, I think it's safe to say that we saw Buh Buh give the performance of a lifetime! It didn't matter how badly Roberts hurt him or what pressure he was under, he kept coming back for more! Just take a look at how he barely beat the ten count to get back in the ring if you don't believe me! And then, right as "The Snake" had his opponent exactly where he wanted him and set up for the DDT, the man from Dudleyville somehow turned things around to connect with a Buh Buh Cutter and score the historic three count! I tell you, folks...this was a feel good moment for someone who's spent a lot of years busting his ass, and I genuinely hope you enjoyed it as much as I did! And fingers crossed, this must surely mean that the "Flamingo Family" will indeed make it to Red, White & Bruised, just as Scotty Flamingo wanted!
Well, with all that said and done, let's take a look at my picks for this week's top three movers and shakers:
1. Buh Buh Ray Dudley
2. Marty Scurll/"The Reaper"
3. Bradley/JoJo
Capturing the National Championship in one hell of a match means Buh Buh Ray is a no-brainer for the top spot this week! Coming in at number two, you can't look past "The Horde" duo of Scurll and "The Reaper," who had to be at their wily best to defeat Fit Finlay and Brian Pillman Jr! And while I could have easily chosen "Luchasaurus" or Jerry Lawler for their big wins, I'm going with the duo of Bradley and JoJo! It's no mean feat to pin the Women's Champion, even if it's in tag team competition, so that's enough to give them the nod from me!
Looking ahead to next week's show, the EWA makes another stop in "The Lone Star State" when SLAM! emanates from Laredo! We already know Pete Dunne will be participating in his first "Pick Your Poison Match" against Braun Strowman, while his stablemates "Mustache Mountain" are gonna duke it out with The Briscoes to determine who goes on to challenge for the Tag Titles at Red, White & Bruised! No doubt "The Kings of Wrestling" will keep close tabs on that one! And on top of that, you can expect to hear from our new National Champion, as well as witness the next chapter in the rivalry between Marty Scurll and Fit Finlay over the World Title too! And that's not even mentioning seeing if "The Miz" gets a measure of revenge over "MJF" or if Tom Lawlor gets his hands on Ilja Dragunov or if the EWA's crack medical team clears Brock Lesnar to return to action, among a whole bunch of other amazing rivalries that everyone is talking about! In short, you simply can't afford to miss even a minute of the action, so I guess that means we'll see you then! Until next time,
BOOMER SOONER!
