Post by Ross Report on Jun 2, 2019 22:40:29 GMT
We're just over a month away from Red, White & Bruised, and the temperature keeps rising on a weekly basis as we edge closer and closer to the hottest show of the summer! This week's SLAM! was no exception, with more twists and turns than a cheap garden hose! Let's take a look at what went down!
Our "esteemed" World Heavyweight Champion made his return this week after serving a one week suspension for refusing to pay for the medical bills incurred by Brian Pillman Jr at his hands. Trying to show there was no hard feelings, Marty Scurll asked the second generation superstar to join "The Horde" in the ring for an apology, although Pillman thankfully had the common sense to stick to the ramp rather than walk into what was likely a sure-fire trap. Thankfully, young Brian wasn't at a numbers disadvantage for long though as he was soon joined by the number one contender to the most coveted prize in the game, Fit Finlay! After some back and forth, an agreement was made between both parties, confirming that we'll see "The Fighting Irishman" team up with Brian Pillman Jr next Sunday to take on two members of "The Horde!" And as we found out later in the show, "The Reaper" essentially volunteered to be Marty Scurll's partner for that match, eager to find his purpose within the group and not end up surplus to requirements like Brady Pierce and Bryan Danielson! I've got to say, color me surprised that Scurll actually intends to step in the ring with his future challenger before their title match, as I'd have bet a case of my finest BBQ sauce that he'd send someone else to do his dirty work for him! Still, Finlay and Pillman Jr versus Scurll and "The Reaper" has all the makings of a barnburner next week!
In our first contest of the evening, the debuting "MJF" took on the "Punjabi Nightmare" himself, "The Great Khali!" This was a mismatch in size and strength, but give all the credit to the world to young Maxwell Jacob Friedman...he showed some advanced ring smarts well beyond his years, utilizing a neck snap against the ropes to stun his Redwood of an opponent before connecting with a perfectly executed Swanton Bomb and cinching in his patented cross armbreaker to force the submission! Although listening to Don West's commentary, it's almost like he saw a completely different match altogether. Still, while I doubt Dave Meltzer will be rating this match five stars after "Khali" suffered yet another defeat, boy, am I excited for the future when it comes to "MJF!" This kid looks like he's got all the tools to go to the moon and back! Not that he wants or needs my validation, I'm sure.
After being taken out by the newly formed "Dominion" last week and denied a championship match you could argue she's earned, JoJo hit the ring to once again make a case for herself as the next challenger to the Women's Title. That resulted in Charlotte Flair distracting JoJo by again denying her an opportunity, allowing Lacey Evans to sneak into the ring behind the "bWo" stalwart! With Charlotte entering the squared circle from the opposite direction, it looked as if JoJo might be in a world of trouble, yet that thankfully didn't turn out to be the case! Indeed, just as the night looked its darkest, Bradley made his dramatic return to the EWA to save the day! It's been a long time since we've seen "The Mustachioed Megaman," but his presence was more than welcome here! Do I smell a potential tag team encounter between these four somewhere down the line?
Fans are wondering just who or what a "Luchasaurus" might be, but I dare say we likely won't have to wait long to find out with this ominous-sounding creature coming soon! Keep your eyes peeled for that one, folks! Something tells me it'll be hard to miss when it does arrive!
Sasha Banks was due to make her first live appearance since returning to the EWA this week, but before she could barely even step out onto the stage, "The Boss" found herself falling victim to a vicious assault by Ember Moon, culminating in a deadly Eclipse in the middle of the ring! I wish I could speculate as to why "The Villainess" went to such extremes to ruin Sasha's live debut, but I honestly haven't a damn clue! All I know is she made a hell of an impression on Banks that left what should have been a special night for the Boston native in tatters! I'd be highly surprised if this is the last we hear of this situation though...
It's probably not an exaggeration to say I've watched thousands of matches over the past 67 years, but I'll be damned if I've ever seen one quite like that battle between Colt Cabana and Santino Marella for the right to lead the "bWo." Honestly, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as the two of them spent ten minutes exchanging headlocks before inadvertently knocking one another out cold with a "malfunction at the junction," as Ed Whalen used to say. That left us without a clear-cut winner, which obviously does little to settle the issue between Colt and Santino or answer the question of who is in charge of the "bWo."
We were stunned last week to discover that the culprit responsible for stealing "Honky Tonk Man's" prized Carl Perkins guitar was none other than my old broadcast colleague, Jerry "The King" Lawler! I've tried all week to get in touch with Jerry to get some answers, but he saved them for his "concert" on this week's SLAM!, having seemingly taken umbrage at "Honky" calling himself the greatest entertainer and wrestler on the entire planet. Well, that unsurprisingly brought out "Mr Shake, Rattle And Roll" himself, looking to reclaim his guitar. And shockingly, it seemed as if "The King" was actually going to oblige by presenting "Honky" with the guitar case...that was, only for Lawler to ambush "Honky Tonk Man" from behind with his crown, beating him down before revealing that the guitar had never been in the case in the first place! Instead, "The King" laid out a challenge to his groggy victim, where if "The Boogie Woogie Baddie" can beat him next Sunday, Lawler will willingly give him back the guitar! Needless to say, you can consider that challenge accepted, setting up a highly anticipated battle when the EWA heads to College Station, Texas!
You can't help but feel for poor "Desperado" Joe Gomez after being goaded into the unenviable task of facing Brock Lesnar earlier in the night by Dean Malenko! I wish I could compliment the ol' "Gunslinger" for making it last as long as it did, but honestly, that only seemed to be because "The Beast" was toying with his opponent and enjoying dishing out the beating. Still, the more important piece of business here occurred after the match was over when Matt Taven made his presence felt. "The Chaotic Idol" was able to surprise Brock Lesnar as he was leaving the ring, damn near caving his skull in with a wicked steel chair shot! As if that wasn't enough, the leader of "The Kingdom" then rammed Lesnar head-first right into the ring post, doing what few others have managed over the past several years by leaving Brock laying! Indeed, it's not often you see someone get under the skin of the former three time World Heavyweight Champion as Matt Taven has managed to do in the aftermath of Spring Scramble! But at the same time, there's no doubt in my mind that Taven is playing with fire each and every time he orchestrates one of these attacks or refuses to meet Lesnar face-to-face. You can only poke the bear so many times before it eventually takes a swipe back at you, something Taven will do well to remember! The more he pushes his luck, the more likely it'll eventually desert him!
How great was it to see Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson make a special appearance this week? "The Rock N' Roll Express" are one of the most legendary tag teams in professional wrestling, and from what I hear, they can still "go" too. However, it seems as if they've been hired to act as consultants for our tag team division, offering the benefit of their years of experience and wisdom to make the scene even more competitive and exciting than it already is! Crucially, they were on hand to make a big announcement regarding who "The Kings of Wrestling" will be defending their Tag Titles against at Red, White & Bruised, although all we know for the time being is that it'll be a "mystery team." Feel free to get in touch via Twitter to let us know who you think it might be!
Speaking of tag team competition, that was a certified slobberknocker we witnessed between The Briscoes and "The Samoan SWAT Team!" One with a whole lotta extra BBQ sauce too! I'm a big fan of what both teams bring to the table, with Jay and Mark looking to prove they're more than just somebody's lackeys or sidekicks, while Jimmy and Jey Uso are embarking on a brand new journey along with the rest of their famous wrestling family. The action came thick and fast in this one, as you'd expect between two teams of brothers. It's all well and good developing chemistry with a partner, but when you've grown up together and have that familial bond, it certainly seems to take things to a whole other level. In the end, it was Jay Briscoe picking up the win for "Dem Boys" after a bit of rule-bending that went unnoticed by the over-worked official, but this one could easily have gone either way! If you've not done so already, check this one out at all costs!
After hearing what he said this week, I'd like to offer Buh Buh Ray Dudley and the "Flamingo Family" my belated congratulations on getting their own locker room. Trust me, no slight was meant on my part for having not done so earlier. Likewise, I'd also like to congratulate Buh Buh for becoming the brand new number one contender to Jake Roberts' National Championship, following a big time win over "Filthy" Tom Lawlor! This one was a lengthy knock-down, drag-out battle that was every bit as hard-hitting as you'd expect considering who was involved. And not to mention the prize at the end of the rainbow either! While Lawlor held his own for much of the match, it did seem as if the former MMA star wasn't quite at his best this past week, something that can happen to anyone for a vast multitude of reasons. That's not to take anything away from Buh Buh's performance though, arguably one of the very best that we've seen him put on during his entire EWA career! And if I'm remembering correctly, that means he'll be facing Jake "The Snake" Roberts this coming Sunday for a shot at the gold! Could we see another title change on SLAM!, just like Roberts took the National Title from Fit Finlay after Spring Scramble? I guess we'll have to wait until next Sunday to find out!
When EWA management asked me to preside over the contract signing between Samoa Joe and Pete Dunne, I'll admit to some trepidation on my part. Turns out I wasn't wrong to be worried given how things ultimately turned out, but before we get to that, let's unpack everything else we've learned. First and foremost, Joe versus Dunne is now official for Red, White & Bruised. Furthermore, per the suggestion of "The Destroyer," that match will be a rarely-seen Three Stages Of Hell Match, essentially making it Two Out Of Three Falls with each individual fall having a different stipulation. As to what those stipulations might be, that brings us to our other important tidbit, namely that we'll be seeing a "Pick Your Poison" series over the coming weeks, where Pete Dunne and Samoa Joe will take it in turns to choose one another's opponents in the run-up to July 7th! And whoever prevails at the end of that series will then get to choose just what stipulations their three matches will be come the hottest show of the summer! Of course, signing that contract was supposed to mean that both Dunne and Joe (and their various associates) were no longer allowed to continue attacking one another as we've seen so often over the past several months...but it turned out that "The Samoan Submission Machine" had to get in one last parting shot before Red, White & Bruised, faking that he signed his "John Hancock" before decimating Dunne in brutal fashion. Not only did he bloody the "Bruiserweight" with a steel chair, but Joe put him through the table that had been set up in the ring before eventually signing for real once his message had been sent! And yet, despite suffering such devastation at Joe's hands, you've gotta admire the scrappy nature of Pete Dunne, somehow making it back to his feet and flipping his arch rival the bird when Samoa Joe beat a retreat! I tell you, folks...this has the potential to be right up there as match of the year when they finally clash in five weeks time! And potentially even feud of the year too if it lives up to expectations!
Well, with another SLAM! in the can, it's time now for my picks for this week's top three movers and shakers:
1. Buh Buh Ray Dudley
2. Samoa Joe
3. The Briscoes
It's hard to look past Buh Buh Ray after securing himself a shot at the National Title in impressive fashion, taking one step closer to guaranteeing the "Flamingo Family" appear on Red, White & Bruised! Coming in at number two, Samoa Joe might not have had a match, but he sure as hell made an impact when he brutalized Pete Dunne before signing the contract that guarantees the match we've all been waiting to see! And last by not least, The Briscoes had to be at their very best to pick up the duke over "The Samoan SWAT Team" this week, taking a big leap up the tag team ranks in the process!
Speaking of tag teams, we've got a hell of a tag match to look forward to next Sunday as Fit Finlay teams with Brian Pillman Jr to take on Marty Scurll and "The Reaper!" Also on tap, Jake Roberts defends the National Title against Buh Buh Ray Dudley! Plus, we can expect to see the first "Pick Your Poison Match" in the series between Dunne and Joe, with the "Bruiserweight" picking the opponent! On top of all that, there's an epic battle set between Jerry "The King" Lawler and the "Honky Tonk Man," with the winner taking home that prized Carl Perkins guitar! And that's not to mention the expected further developments between the likes of Brock Lesnar and Matt Taven, "The Dominion" and this new alliance of JoJo and Bradley, Sasha Banks and Ember Moon, as well as the impending arrivals of "Luchasaurus" and this "mystery team" pegged for a Tag Team Title opportunity! In other words, you're not gonna miss a second of the action when SLAM! hits the Reed Arena next week! Until then,
BOOMER SOONER!
