Post by Ross Report on Apr 22, 2019 11:51:28 GMT
With Spring Scramble just under a week away, all eyes turned to this week's SLAM! for the latest developments heading into what promises to be a barnburner of a show, and boy, did it not disappoint!
After burning down "King" Walter's Austrian HQ last week, "Necro Butcher" returned to the US and quickly found himself running foul of "The Clown With A Crown's" attempts at revenge. "The Butcher" barely stepped foot in the Pinnacle Bank Arena before he found himself surrounded by a clan of killer clown cronies which he had to fend off with a damn railroad spike! However, he wouldn't be so lucky upon later arriving at his locker room, with "King" Walter himself ambushing the hardcore legend and using his bare fists to give "Necro" the ol' "crimson mask." Evidently, the big Austrian oak thought he'd sent a message loud and clear, yet little did he count on "Necro Butcher" showing up after Walter's short-lived match against Dusty Wolfe, looking to resume hostilities! Before that could happen though, the so-called "King" escaped ringside before laying out a challenge for a Dog Collar Match next Sunday at Spring Scramble, something "The Butcher" was more than eager to accept! While this particular stipulation might have come out of left field, it certainly promises to give both rivals plenty of leeway to unleash a whole lot of violence on one another, guaranteeing a bloody and brutal affair when we roll into Panama City next week!
Elsewhere, we saw the leaders of "The Kingdom" and "Bullet Club" exchange some rather heated words the previous week, and this time it was the turn of the ladies from those respective groups to do the same as Scarlett Bordeaux and Mandy Leon clashed backstage. "The Perfect Ten" obviously felt like Leon was to blame for her loss to Xia Li the week prior, but just as they started to throw down, Matt Taven was on hand to help break it up. Still, it looks like tensions continue to boil between these two factions, which I'd wager good money will eventually result in some kind of match between them somewhere down the line!
Speaking of matches, this week's SLAM! saw the returning "Mustache Mountain" take on the OG "Kings of Wrestling," Chris Hero and Cesaro! Tyler Bate and Trent Seven have both spent several weeks on the shelf thanks to Samoa Joe, but returned the favor in dramatic fashion last week before looking to get back to winning ways against Joe's stablemates. Of course, "The Kings" are no pushovers, resulting in a highly-competitive match...at least until Pete Dunne and Angelico found themselves getting involved at ringside, which in turn led to a mass brawl that needed security to break it up. Not only that, but Harry Smith also stepped in to make a match for next week's Pay-Per-View that'll pit the three members of "British Strong Style" against "The Kings of Wrestling," which presumably won't include Samoa Joe while he continues to lick his wounds after last week. Still, one can imagine that "The Destroyer" will be keeping a close eye on that one, as this war continues to heat up!
That also means Chris Hero is apparently looking to pull double duty at Spring Scramble, with "The Vaudevillains" following up on their open challenge to any two random individuals to come together and challenge them for the Tag Team Titles next Sunday. Indeed, when no one else answered the call, it was "The Knockout Artist" who stepped up to the plate, promising that his partner wasn't a fellow member of "The Kings of Wrestling" but refusing to reveal even a hint of clue as to their identity. Given the lack of information provided, it's anyone's guess who Hero has chosen, so let the speculation commence!
While we're talking about mysteries, "The Honky Tonk Man" is engaged with one of his own as he looks to discover what happened to his precious Carl Perkins guitar that went missing last week. This led to the Memphis native questioning a somewhat confused Santino Marella, although it's fair to say that "The Italian Stallion" wasn't the culprit, leaving "Honky" with little choice but to head back to the drawing board. Meanwhile though, Marella appears to have finally found his place after Al Snow followed up on their previous interaction by making Santino the "new" Al Snow! Truth be told, it looks as if the real "Snowman" is trying to cover his tracks by setting up Santino as a patsy to take the fall for his long-gestating legal troubles, but as far as Marella is concerned, he's finally found a group to belong to after a couple of months of trying! Although just how welcome the "bWo" will make him remains to be seen...
Last week saw "The Flamingo Family" (or to be more specific, Buh Buh Ray Dudley) challenge the "nWo" to a tag team match against Buh Buh and Johnny Flamingo. Accepting that offer was Wade Barrett and the leader of the "New World Order" John Cena, resulting in a highly competitive back-and-forth battle between these two factions. This was the first time either one of these teams had worked as a unit, not that it really showed with how well they functioned together, especially with the way that Cena and Barrett managed to cut the ring in half during the early goings. The momentum looked to shift when Buh Buh Ray was finally able to tag in, but even that was short-lived thanks to the underhanded tactics of the "nWo." That is, until Kenny Omega made his presence felt, distracting Cena and Barrett by ripping up a "New World Order" t-shirt on the stage! With their attention elsewhere, "Show E." managed to get his hands on "The Doctor of Thuganomics" behind the Ref's back while Barrett was laid out with a Bubba Bomb for the three count! It might not have been clean as a whistle, but you can be damn sure that "The Flamingo Family" will take the win over such tough opposition any which way they could get it! And as for Cena and co, this only adds more fuel to the fire with their growing conflict with the "Bullet Club!"
SLAM! turned to a rather more somber note when "The Reaper" decided to visit a local church to hold a "funeral" for Fit Finlay ahead of their scheduled National Championship match at Spring Scramble. For the man formerly known as Gabriel, this isn't just about capturing EWA gold as much as it is putting the final nail in the coffin of the legendary career that Finlay has crafted over the last 40+ years. And yet, "The Fighting Irishman" has proven time and time again that he's not going down without a fight, something that was pretty self-evident here when Fit burst out of the casket "The Reaper" had set up to surprise his next challenger! In the end, "The Horde" member would scurry to safety, yet not before "The Belfast Bruiser" would get in the final word, demanding their match at Spring Scramble be contested under a Falls Count Anywhere stipulation so that he might end this identity crisis "The Reaper" has been experiencing once and for all! I can't wait for this one, especially if their previous match back at last year's King of the Ring is anything to go by!
While both Brock Lesnar and Ken Shamrock were conspicuous by their absence this week, "Father" James Mitchell was on hand to call attention to the fact that "PCO's" de facto number one contenders were nowhere to be found. More so, he once again reiterated just how little the World Heavyweight Championship actually meant to him by throwing it down to the mat in disdain! Rather, what "The Sinister Minister" truly desires is to unleash hell on earth and revel in the ensuing chaos, which is why he laid down the challenge for a Triple Threat No Disqualification Scramble Match next Sunday! And if that wasn't enough, he's vowed that if (or should that be "when?") his "French-Canadian Frankenstein" emerges victorious from that battle, Mitchell will then DESTROY the EWA World Title live on the following week's SLAM! That's right, folks..."Father" James Mitchell is threatening to eradicate the most coveted prize in all of sports entertainment, unless either Ken Shamrock or Brock Lesnar can defeat his monster over the course of 30 gruelling minutes at Spring Scramble! And all of a sudden, this intensely personal rivalry between these three individuals has come full circle, with the fate of the EWA itself resting in their hands!
Despite his best efforts, "Desperado" Joe Gomez didn't have much luck finding any partners for what was supposed to be an Eight Man Tag Team Match against "The Horde" this past week. Not even his old friend/rival Ken Raper was willing to lend a hand, meaning the ol' "Gunslinger" had to go it alone against four of the top superstars in the business today in the shape of Bryan Danielson, Jack Evans, Jake Roberts and Brady Pierce! Needless to say then, this was a one-sided affair as "The Horde" took their time physically dissecting Joe Gomez in devastating fashion. The veteran somehow managed to keep his head just about above water by hook or by crook, but it looked for certain as if Gomez was simply delaying the inevitable...only for help to finally arrive in the likes of Bobby Salsa, D-Ray 3000, the "Mumbai Cats," Duane Gill, "A1" Alastair Ralphs, and about 15 other superstars who, much like "The Desperado," haven't been blessed with the greatest win/loss records! After my defence of EWA officials last week, I was fully expecting the Referee to call for the bell due to the blatant interference this time around...yet I can only surmise that he felt sorry for Joe Gomez's plight, letting the match continue long enough for Gomez to suddenly surprise Danielson with a small package out of nowhere, picking up what I can safely say is the most unlikely victory in EWA history! And with that victory comes the biggest opportunity of "Desperado" Joe Gomez's career, as he now has a guaranteed match with Marty Scurll at Spring Scramble for "The Villain's" Civil War contract! And what's more, Gomez was able to pick the stipulation for that match, choosing an Over-The-Top-Rope Challenge, where he doesn't have to pin or submit his opponent but simply dump him over the ropes and out of the ring to take Marty's title shot! I can't believe I'm saying this, but perhaps Scurll has every reason to be worried too as Gomez's impossible journey continues!
With all that said and done, let's take a look at my picks for this week's top three movers and shakers:
1. "Desperado" Joe Gomez
2. Buh Buh Ray Dudley/Johnny Flamingo
3. "King" Walter
There's only one option for top spot, with "Desperado" Joe Gomez continuing to defy all odds by defeating four of the toughest men in the EWA in a single match, albeit with a bit of an assist from his fellow jabronis! Second spot goes to "The Flamingo Family" pairing of Buh Buh Ray Dudley and Johnny Flamingo, who managed to pull it all together to defeat some game opponents in John Cena and Wade Barrett! And last but not least, it was a toss-up between "King" Walter and "Necro Butcher" for third spot, but given the way "The Clown With A Crown" bloodied his arch rival in retaliation for last week's arson attack, the big Austrian pips "The Butcher" at the post!
Looking ahead then, Spring Scramble is shaping up to be one for the ages, with a plethora of different rivalries all seeming to come to a head in a wide variety of stipulation matches! Indeed, this could well be one of the most barbaric Pay-Per-Views on record, with a No DQ Scramble Match main event, a Falls Count Anywhere National Championship encounter, and a Dog Collar Match between two of the most violent superstars in the business today! And that's not even mentioning all of the other wild matches that will take place either! Take it from me, folks...Spring Scramble is going to be unmissable! Until then,
BOOMER SOONER!
